He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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