He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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