You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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