It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
