the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
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