I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
