walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize