Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
This girl is more easily done than said...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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