No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
