i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize
