So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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