Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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