i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
