and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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