you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
