yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
