Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize