Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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