so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
