Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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