some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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