i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
