he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
i out mim tonsoeep
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
