Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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