well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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