Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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