he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
