oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
