there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
