..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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