Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
