That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
