I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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