Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
