ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
