Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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