Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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