hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Non-Jews are for practice
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
