Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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