accomplished twins. life is a go
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
