11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
