Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize