Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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