Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Randomize
