If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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