Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
