But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
