i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
