Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Randomize
