You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
