just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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