thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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