I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
im holly from the hills drunk
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
