Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
