it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Randomize
