If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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