I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize