I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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