Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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