my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
