I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just pee around me
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
