dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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