He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
