Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
