we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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