is your mom at the bar?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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