So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
